I still want things

Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

I mean you are the stupidest woman in the world. You bought a house for a life you don’t even have.

Why’d you do it then?

Because I’m sick of being afraid all the time and because….I still want things.

My life seems to echo the book/movie Under the Tuscan Sun. I don’t know why I relate so much with the main character but I do. She thinks like I think.  I quote it every other post I know but since I see so much of my life in the main character, up until the part where she buys a house in Tuscany, little lines from the movie pop in to my head all the time.  Tonight, all it took was seeing a photo of a place I traveled to once in Belgium.  The city is called Brugge and I went with some girlfriends which was incredibly amazing. But I saw this photo of this man standing on a bridge, where I once stood because the bridge is 700 years old and you don’t forget stuff like that. But I saw this guy standing there and thought to myself, I still want things.



I think losing my “travel buddy” last year was difficult just in that fact that I lost someone who loved to travel and eat as much as I do. And someone who could appreciate the tiniest little unnoticeable detail of a place like I do as well.  I chased these two little old ladies down a tiny back street in Brugge because they were wearing fancy hats and holding hands.   I loved them and that was the image I wanted to carry with me.

So, please explain to me why society puts some sort of time limit on our lives, wants, dreams and desires?

Why do young people believe they have to get married by a certain age or it’s as if something is wrong with them?  My girlfriend and I went to a party this week and I believe we were the only single girls there.  Then I felt like Bridget Jones, the OTHER movie character I most identify with.  But only in the first movie.  And no, damn Darcy still has not shown up.   Okay, I’m single. You can talk to me because I don’t have leprosy and you wont’ catch it.  There’s nothing wrong with you because you are single. There is something wrong with you because you are a human being and it happens to the married people too.

Honestly I doubt I’ll ever get married again.  But maybe I will. And maybe I’ll do it when I’m 90 like a lady I read about recently who married her beau at 98!  They are adorable. And more power to them.  Love doesn’t have an expiration date.

Newly- weds Ted Parsons and Jean Reed [CASCADE]
Wanting magical things in your life also doesn’t EVER have an expiration date.  The town I live in sucks for a multitude of reasons. I guess I need to write a post about being happy right where you’re at huh? But I hate it. I’ve always hated it.  This town however has two age groups.  It consists of college students since it’s a college town and 70 year-olds because it’s a retiree town. So to half the population I am old and dismissed.  And to the other half of the population I am young and stupid and dismissed.  So my friend and I went to this beautiful bar called The Sky Bar that overlooks the river over my city in Florida and the massive bridges crossing it. As we stood by the edge looking over we laughed because there was a “snowbird” sound asleep between us and the outlook.  Sure it was past ten and all.

Then a guy in his 20’s started talking to us a bit.  We were all talking about the dating scene here or lack thereof when he made a classic Freudian slip about how even “young” girls there have a hard time.  I wanted to say buddy just shut it.  Doesn’t he know young and old is subjective?  It’s just like beauty. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. I think a lot of times we are treated like we shouldn’t be in certain places because we are a certain age or a certain status or whatever it may be.

When I’m 80 I’ll still be going to Disney World and buying a stupid hat and eating a giant greasy turkey leg. Why?  Because it makes me happy.  And life is such a gift. But it is a short gift and I’ll never stop wanting things for my life.

I still want to travel with someone.  I still want to be loved. I still want to eat as much amazing food all over the world as humanly possible.  I still want success in my career. I still want to write amazing things that touches people. I still want to live in Old Town Alexandria.  I still want to buy a house in Tuscany and fix it up. Wait. That one might not be mine.

I’m just saying we all still want things.  Don’t ever be misled into thinking “it’s too late”.  That’s a lie society puts on us and it goes both ways. It’s never too early either. There was a 10-year-old last year that discovered an explosive new molecule.   And Colonel Sanders didn’t fry a piece of chicken until he retired at 65.

You are not too young and you are never too old to want the things you want for your life.  Just don’t let people make you believe otherwise. And more importantly, don’t let yourself believe otherwise.

At the end of Under the Tuscan Sun, Frances says the final lines. I still want to write something this beautiful someday.

They say they built the train tracks over the alps between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip… they built it anyway. They know one day the train would come. Any arbitrary turn along the way, and I would be elsewhere. I would be different. What are four walls anyway? They are what they contain. The house protects the dreamer. Unthinkably good things can happen… even late in the game. It’s such a surprise.





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