The one thing I didn’t expect as I ventured out on my plan to save the world, or at least my little corner of it, was how awful so many people are on my side of the fight. I still don’t like admitting it. I happily skipped off into this direction like a puppy with my tongue hanging out and my tail wagging. Yay, we’re all on the same team! Yay, we are going to join together and fight! That’s right around the time the first person tried to run me and my career over with her car once our owner had gone away.
Recently, I’ve began to learn this lesson even more so, the hard way of course, because after all… this is ME. D.C. is not the place for niceties or nice people. Anyone at anytime will happily take you down if it benefits them in some way. As my profile has grown my inner circle has shrunk dramatically. It’s made me question every relationship and every person I’ve dealt with in this business. All is never as it seems, I’ve learned.
Even with the vast majority being complete takers, there are some, that are genuine and true. But I can see now how easily it is to lose yourself in this business. I can see how easy it is to allow people to railroad you even after you’ve done all you could to help them on their path and allow it to leave you feeling bitter and hardened. But I realized, I never want that. I’ll do what I have to do to protect myself now. That was my first lesson. And I’ll protect my children to the death. But all the rest, I officially let go.
I’ve had to fight to remember who I am and why I started this journey. It’s such a healing and good place to be. Especially when you realize all these people are not in control of my destiny. Only God is. And I praise Him for that. I pray for His will in my life. Nothing more and nothing less. This sounds like a poem of anger but it’s not. It’s one of letting go. Which is what we all should do anyway. I just have a particularly hard time with it.
Goodbye to the Takers
Goodbye to the takers, and the shakers, and all the “me” generators.
Have fun with your champagne and fancy ties, and your faces full of lies.
Play your little games to get ahead. Go on now, pretend your soul isn’t dead.
Smile sweetly with a hand full of knives. Twist ever so slightly in all your friends lives.
Somewhere, you all lost your way. You let the fame change you and all the players that play.
You lost yourself when you lost your soul. Looking for the next opportunity, that you stole.
But in the end tell me who wins? The one with the face to God or the sinner who still sins?
A dog need only bite me once to see. He or she is the biting type and I’ll forever flee.
At the end of the day when my pillow hides my head. I won’t have regrets. I won’t wish I were dead.
I’ll have the conscience of a saint. Peace in my bones. I didn’t lose myself to sit on media thrones.
So scream your diatribe. Get drunk on self-importance, but never forget. I’ll have one thing you’ll never have.
And that’s a life. A real one. One filled with content.