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Don’t You Dare Close Your Eyes

Thoughts on taking it all in, good, bad, and ugly.

Do you like Disney movies?  I’ve always been a Disney freak but not always so much their movies because I don’t enjoy crying uncontrollably…OVER A CARTOON! However, now and again I’ll fall in love with a Disney movie that doesn’t make me want to pop Prozac in between every other peanut butter M&M.

Ratatouille is my favorite.  Throw any line at me from that movie and I’ll happily throw the next line right back at you.  (It sounds like Rat and patootie, which does NOT sound delicious.) It’s followed closely by Mulan, hence why my cat is named Mushu.  (Dishonor on YOU! Dishonor on your COW!)

Another one I’ve always had an appreciation for is Aladdin.  I tend to hate the ones that are musicals, I know, I have no soul, but the songs in Aladdin don’t bother me so much. Do you recall the magic carpet ride Aladdin takes Jasmine on and they sing the song A Whole New World and the one line Aladdin sings to her, “Don’t you dare close your eyes”?

I’ve always liked that one line and from time to time, I’ve used it.  Without singing of course so as to not injure any nearby animal’s eardrums. But just as a simple reminder to open my eyes and take it all in.

I’ve recently had to use it again and here’s why.

As we all know, life is hard.  After all, none of us make it out alive.  And some people’s lives are much more difficult than others. But sometimes when you’ve gone through something difficult for any length of time you can sort of adapt to the difficulty.  Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it’s more of a survival skill. But when it comes time to let go of the survival skills, many of us can hang on to them a little too long. It reminds me of one of my favorite Winston Churchill quotes, “If you are going through hell, keep going.”  You can’t get stuck in the middle.

I like to think I’m a very resilient person. That may be putting it mildly. I’m damned resilient. Even when I don’t think I am. And whenever life is difficult I can tell you I have my eyes wide open. I don’t try to duck or hide from it and I may not always know what to do, but I know I will always find a way to figure it out.

And that’s when it hit me. Difficulties have become my comfort zone. So when something really amazing is happening in my life, that’s the moment I realized I close my eyes. It’s almost as if the good is too…overwhelming. And I don’t have the first clue how to handle it or what to do. But the best parts of my life are right at that moment when I step out of the comfortable and into the terrifying.

I can tell you if you are in your comfort zone…you’re doing it wrong.

But what do you do when you stand on the brink of quite possibly having the one thing, the only thing, you’ve ever wanted in your entire life?

I’ve always talked about how I’m two completely different people.  The last time I said that I was accused of being bipolar. But if you’ve ever tangled with a Gemini before, you get it.  I can, at times, be a complete chicken shit. Then I can turn around at other times and be so ballsy it would quite literally blow your hair back. Assuming you have some.

But this…this is uncharted waters my friends, and losing sight of the safe land terrifies me to the core. It’s definitely a whole new world. So, what I’m going to do is take it all in like a biscuit soaking up a plate of red-eye gravy. (My apologies only the very south of you will understand that analogy. But trust me it was a good one.)

I’m going to calm down.  Maybe I’ll get what I want, and maybe I won’t. I’m resilient remember? So if I don’t, my life is still all good.  But if I do..oh, my, well then, I’m going to open my eyes.  Because I really, really, don’t want to miss a moment of this magical ride.

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